Chasing the Dragon: Life on Meth
Chasing the Dragon: Life on Meth
Blog Article
They call it "chasing the dragon" - that relentless pursuit of a high you can never quite recapture. For meth users, this isn't just a metaphor; it's a daily reality. What begins as a thrilling escape quickly becomes a full-time job - scoring, using, crashing, and starting all over again. This is the brutal cycle of life on meth, where users sacrifice everything in search of a feeling that keeps slipping further away.
I spent three years trapped in this nightmare. This is what it's really like.
Chapter 1: The First Chase - When Meth Still Worked
The Magic of the First Time
I remember my first hit like it was yesterday. The rush was indescribable - like someone flipped a switch in my brain and suddenly:
- Colors were brighter
- Energy was limitless
- Confidence was unshakable
- Pleasure was overwhelming
For those first few weeks, meth delivered on all its promises. I could work 16-hour shifts without fatigue. My social anxiety disappeared. Life felt... perfect.
The Turning Point
But the dragon always moves. By month two:
- The euphoria lasted half as long
- I needed larger doses
- The crashes became unbearable
- My bank account was draining fast
I didn't realize it then, but I was already hooked. The chase had begun.
Chapter 2: The Daily Grind of Addiction
A Typical Day in Active Addiction
My life became a series of rituals:
6:00 AM - Wake up already craving, light shaking in my hands
6:30 AM - Make calls to find the day's supply
8:00 AM - Pick up, immediately smoke in the dealer's car
9:00 AM - The high hits - for about 20 minutes
12:00 PM - Start feeling it fade, begin planning the next hit
3:00 PM - Second dose, weaker effect
6:00 PM - Third dose, barely feeling anything but terrified to stop
11:00 PM - Crash, but too wired to sleep
The Economics of Addiction
- Spent $200/day at my worst
- Lost my apartment after 4 months
- Sold everything of value
- Started "helping" dealers to get free product
Chapter 3: What Meth Takes From You
The Physical Toll
- Went from 180 lbs to 125 lbs in 8 months
- Developed "meth mouth" - 7 teeth eventually pulled
- Permanent scar on my arm from picking at imaginary bugs
- Heart palpitations that still occur occasionally
The Psychological Damage
- Hallucinated shadow people following me
- Became convinced my phone was tapped
- Had violent outbursts at people who cared about me
- Lost the ability to feel joy without meth
Chapter 4: The Dragon Always Wins
Why You Can't Win
No matter how much you use:
- The magic never returns
- You need more for less effect
- The crashes get worse
- The paranoia intensifies
My Breaking Point
After 18 months:
- Hadn't spoken to family in a year
- Was living in a trap house
- Got arrested for possession
- Nearly died from an infected abscess
Even then, I kept using for another year. That's how powerful the chase is.
Chapter 5: Breaking the Cycle
Getting Clean
- First 30 days were hell - slept 18 hours/day
- Cravings lasted months
- Had to relearn how to function sober
- Still get occasional urges after 4 years clean
Life After the Chase
- Working as a peer counselor now
- Rebuilding family relationships
- Learning to enjoy simple pleasures again
- Helping others escape the chase
Conclusion: The Dragon is a Lie
Meth promises everything and delivers nothing. That perfect high? It's a mirage that keeps moving further away. The only way to win is to stop chasing.
If you're trapped in this cycle right now, know this: there is life after meth. It's hard, but it's real - not some phantom pleasure that disappears when you reach for it.
The dragon can't be caught. But freedom? That's within your grasp. Report this page